Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
