Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
