He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
