he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
