He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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