I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My vagina is officially offended.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
