I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
