I think my fart just growled at me.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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