you didnt know i had herpes?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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