apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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