I wish I could punch you in the face.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
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as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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