Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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