Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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