it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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