In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
