great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
