he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
