if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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