What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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