she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
