I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
