my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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