Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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