giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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