Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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