u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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