Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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