your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
