Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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