Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
