i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
