They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize