it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
