i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
