thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
