If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
