Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He passed out mid-signature
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
