Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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