Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
