She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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