Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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