i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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