Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am midnight drunk by noon
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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