What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
