Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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