It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am puke
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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