I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
