I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
