that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
