I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
