remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
