i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
