On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
