Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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