Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
