I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize