sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
