Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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