Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
