um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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