he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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