My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
