Will you blow on my dice?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
