Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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