I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
