So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
